2021 #5

This has been a year full of changes – though some things of course, stay the same.

I’m still just always exhausted, no matter how much sleep I get or how often I take time to relax and do nothing. I still never seem to have the time, money, energy, desire, or any given combination of those things to get things tackled that I need and want to do.

I’ve changed positions and shifts at work a couple times since my last post, so getting used to working different hours has been an adjustment I’ve had to make a couple times. That hasn’t helped with my fatigue issues, but it has been necessary. The work I’m doing now is far better than what I had been doing previously. It still definitely has negative aspects but it’s better than my previous positions. It isn’t what I want to be doing in a year or two from now. But… for now it is tolerable, and it keeps the bills paid.

One relationship ended, which led to another one starting. I can now look back on the last one and clearly see it wasn’t at all what I truly wanted or needed and while he had his moments of being sweet and caring he was mostly a controlling asshole. It was never going to work with him because I was “too difficult” for him – I was not afraid of telling him no or of arguing with him and he didn’t like that. He wanted someone who would just always give him his way without questioning anything. That’s NOT me. The utter frustration over that led to me doing what I said I would not: I signed up for online dating. I shuffled through a few guys that there just wasn’t a connection with, a few jerks, and then I met the one that finally seems to really be someone who I can count on, who truly treats me well, who puts in as much effort as I do, who makes me a priority rather than treating me like an option after everyone and everything else in the world has come first. We’ve known each other for 4 months and been dating for 3 months. There are all sorts of little things that just seem like too much to be coincidence. It all just feels like finally things are right and as they’re meant to be. Time will tell of course. But so far it has been very, very good.

I haven’t really had a chance to do any of the projects I need to do around the house or anything. I have a lengthy to do list, and a couple things habe been checked off it but it seems like the list keeps growing faster than I can actually get things done. Hopefully at some point soon I can find more time to get things done. I picked one room to start in and focus in. It is far from perfect since I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I got the drywall finished and then I painted. I still have to do the baseboard and windowframe and flooring… I’ve had things come up and things change that mean for now my resources have been exhausted so pwrhaps I can get back to working on that early next year. One thing at a time.

And with that, I do have things I need to do today so I best get going. I hope everyone is doing well. I’ll try to check in again without letting so much time pass, this time, but can make no promises.

XOXO

2021 #4

I’ve got loads of projects that I want to tackle. Work makes it impossible right now. I’m hoping soon we start getting weekends off consistently so that I can have the time I need to cross these projects off my to do list. I am eager not just to finish them but to share them here so y’all can see them!

I’ve got one room in the house painted. I need to touch up some areas on the ceiling with spackle and get a final coat of paint on the ceiling but then that will be done. Then I have more work to do to finish that room – crown moulding, (actually, gonna do quarter round instead. Much easier to deal with!) base boards, window frame, door frame and door, and finally new flooring and that room will be done. In addition to this I have end tables that will be going in there, that I plan to paint. They’re wood tables with glass tops. When all is said and done in that room, that won’t look right. So they’re going to be painted. I know what color, but I’m not saying yet. I’ve such plans for this room to make it a cozy little retreat; I’m simply hoping to have time (and money!) to do it all soon and that it all turns out the way I’m picturing it in my mind.

I also have plans for my dining table. I stumbled onto the perfect placemats at Marshall’s recently while I was there for something else. I could not resist them and when I was looking at them while waiting in a very long, slow moving line to check out, the idea for the dining table popped into my head. I’ve already ordered almost all the supplies I need to do it. It is going to involve an epoxy resin top. I’ve never worked with epoxy resin before though so before I do anything to my dining table, I’m going to practice with a smaller project to make sure I have a better idea of what I’m doing. I have a small night stand that I had painted many moons ago that needs to be redone. The paint has chipped and come off of areas, over the years. And honestly I no longer like what I did with it. So I’ve decided that will be my practice piece for the resin. I don’t know yet exactly what I’ll do with it, though. I need to figure out what room it will ultimately land in so I can determine what to do with it. I have several ideas, but they’re all dependent on where in the house it will ultimately be placed.

I’ve been penabled. Truth be told it started several years ago but it didn’t actually hit me till recently. J is into pens, and he was kind enough to give me four pens and an assortment of ink samples, two full size bottles of ink (both black), and a couple extra nibs. I very much enjoyed them and yet for whatever reason the addiction did not kick in till late last year. I had started using them with my bullet journals and the idea to buy more ink samples morphed into the idea of buying more pens too. I now have ten pens, about two dozen ink samples, and I added a full size bottle of a pretty shimmer ink to my stash as well. (Oh, and I also got a glass dip pen to play with too.) Full size bottles of ink will last forever so I’ve been mindful of which ones I really want a full size of – I think for the most part simply buying a few sample vials periodically as desired is a better way to purchase ink. Unless you’re weird and really only ever use one or two colors, in which case full size bottles of those would be fine. But I love using different colors of ink.

Tis time I get ready for work so I must go. I hope y’all are doing well. Fingers crossed that soon I will get to post again, sharing a completed project. Or maybe I’ll share more about my pen collection. Or something. We shall see.

Until next time.

xoxo

2021 #3

Just thought I would pop on here quickly to share my favorite Irish proverb, since it is St. Patrick’s Day.

2021 #2 – For A Friend

Just a quick post to share cards pulled for a friend so that friend can see the cards. Nothing more. 💕

2021 #1

Long time no post, I know. All I do is work and sleep. I’ve very little time for anything else.

I did get a nice “vacation” for the end of the year. I broke my finger. Long story short it got caught in the dogs leashes at just the wrong moment. It is still healing but I was given the clear to go back to work. And work is still the same old thing. Mandatory overtime, 7 days a week… makes for nice paychecks yes but I’m exhausted. I’ve learned an important thing about myself; when I’m exhausted I get very very irritable.

Anyway with that it is time for me to head in to work for the day. But I wanted to check in really quickly. I’ve got some plans… nothing concrete yet. Still just ideas brewing. I’ll keep you posted on those things.

Until next time. xoxo

2020 #8

Just trying to pass some time whilst waiting till it is time to head to my ortho appointment this afternoon. I’ve been in the cast for 3 weeks now. Today’s appointment will be another set of xrays to check the healing progress, and determine if I still need more time in the cast or if it can come off in favor of a splint and starting physical therapy. At this point I honestly wouldn’t mind another week in the cast or even two of necessary. It is annoying, but I have gotten used to it.

I was *finally* able to get the huge dead pine tree in my yard cut down yesterday. It took me literally the whole year to get someone to do it. Apparently none of the tree services in my town need any business, they are busy enough to never answer or return phone calls… one was a no show 4 times for coming out to give me an estimate. One wanted way more money than I can afford. One had a very agreeable price, which I agreed to. It was supposed to be done in two to three weeks. It has been almost six months. I have consistently checked in with him to try to get him to come get the job done to no avail. He ignored most of my messages and the couple times he did respond he had one excuse or another and said he would “try” to get me in the following week. But of course he would not show up so I would start the process all over again of calling and/or texting him weekly then twice weekly go try to get him to do the job he said he would do. My neighbor (whose house was in danger of being damaged by the tree) hooked me up with someone who came out on Tuesday, started the job yesterday, ran out of daylight and came back this morning to finish up. I am relieved to finally have it dealt with!

I still have plenty of other things to be stressed out about. Like waiting to hear from work as to when my last day is going to be, or if I have somehow managed to escape being laid off. Considering that they’re keeping people based on seniority and I have only been with the company for about 5 months (about 9 months if you include my time as a temp, but that time is not a factor in seniority, it is strictly based on when you became a “permanent” employee of the company) I have no seniority. So I have to figure out what my next step is, where to go from here… I have no idea. I don’t know what I want to do or what would be tolerable at this point. But I need to figure it out because at best I have through April, at worst January. Either way is not a lot of time to figure it out. I’m already out of money thanks to being on short term disability for the broken finger. The next few months are going to be a serious challenge for me.

I hope all is well for you, my lovelies.

Until next time.

Xoxo

2020 #7

I’ve not had the time to post, which is usual anymore. I’ve got plenty of time for a few weeks as I’m off work till a bit into the month of December. Y’all know what a klutz I am, but I never broke a bone… till now. And let me tell you, that shit hurts.

Long story short my finger got tangled in the dogs leashes at just the wrong time and *snap*. My left ring finger is now broken. But, silver lining: I desperately needed a vacation, so I am getting one. My return to work date is subject to change depending on how it heals, of course. I’ve had two visits to ortho so far and my next appointment is in a couple weeks. We will decide at that appointment if I need another week in the cast (yep. I broke it GOOD y’all. There was talk of surgery but thankfully it is healing well in the cast.) or if I can transition to a hand splint instead and start physical therapy to start getting mobility back in my hand.

I have plenty around the house that needs done yet with just one hand, I can’t really do much of it. I’m thrilled to get to spend some time at home with the doggies though. I’ve missed getting to just snuggle up with them and enjoy being with them. I’ve been back on Instagram, as well. My profile there is private but you’re welcome to request a follow if you are not already on my small list of followers. Drop me a comment here to let me know who you are on Instagram; I’m rather choosy in who I follow and who I allow to see my posts so please do not take offense if I decline your follow request and/or do not follow you in return.

https://www.instagram.com/nc.browncoat/

That’s all I’ve got for the moment. I’ve got laundry to tackle.

Until next time.

xoxo

2020 #6

A Note to a Stranger:

To the person who draws little smiley faces in the zeroes on the boxes of parts they have packaged on their shift… thank you.

It’s probably just some little habit you have, and you probably think nobody even notices or cares that you have done it; you probably don’t give it much thought at all. But I have noticed, and those random little smiley faces never fail to make me smile when I see them. Work has been insane lately; all the mandatory overtime has me exhausted and I’m struggling mentally and emotionally with a lot of things these days. Those little smiley faces, simple as they may be, help me more than one might expect them to. They have been a little bright spot in my otherwise long, exhausting, frustrating days. (We are working 10 hour shifts M-F and 8 hour shifts Saturday & Sunday. All I do is work and sleep – I’ve no time or energy for anything else, anymore.) I shrugged off the first one I spotted as a one time thing. But then I noticed them more, and I have started actually seeking them out on the pallets as I work.

I have no idea who you are but thank you for the little smiles you have given me when I really need them most, though you had no idea that this would be the end result of those little smiley faces. It’s a tiny little thing that may mean nothing to you or anybody else, but it sure means a lot to me.

xoxo

2020 #5

I know, I’ve been absent quite a while. Just carrying on with life.

Been busting my ass at work and it has paid of with an offer for a permanent position which I have, of course, accepted. My first official day is in a couple weeks, and I’ll have benefits not too terribly long after which is excellent as I have things that need to be dealt with. I recently discovered I am allergic to avacado – that was a fun fiasco. And while at the doctor for that, it was found that my platelet count is low and that requires investigation which will require a specialist so finally getting some insurance in place is a very good thing. This explains issues I have been having for quite a while now, with fatigue and bruising very easily. Now we just need to find out why my platelets are low and figure out what, if any, treatment plan is the best course of action.

Whitney Woerz has released a new song that I’m very much enjoying. I have shared her music here before though it has been a long time. I adore this young lady. She has such an old soul, and it is beautiful. The new song is called Weirdos and it is a great song about embracing who you are and not letting bullies get you down. As someone who was bullied a lot growing up, this song hits home for me. Bullying has life-long effects – I’m 36 years old and still struggle literally every day with issues developed as a direct result of the bullying I dealt with in my youth. The message of the song is beautiful to me, since I have been through it myself.

I’ve got to be up early in the morning so I am off. I hope you are all doing well. I hope soon work slows down a little on the overtime so I can have some weekends off and maybe get some fun things done so I can have something a bit more fun to post about.

Until next time. Xoxoxo

2020 #4

Not really much going on these days. Personally I mean. The world is in a state of chaos but that is a subject I’m not broaching. As far as that is concerned the only thing I’m going to say is I am blessed to have left retail when I did, and to currently be working a job that is considered essential so I am able to continue working and earning income so I can keep on top of my bills and putting food on the table and whatnot.

I’m missing someone I ought not be missing. I’m sure he doesn’t miss me. He probably never even thinks of me at all. He isn’t who I thought he was, at all… considering who he truly is, I’m better off and I know that. But that doesn’t make moving on any easier. I felt sure. Every time I am sure… I turn out to be wrong again. I’m tired of that happening. I’m tired of being hurt. I’m tired of trying.

I should be getting to bed soon I suppose. Just letting y’all know I’m still here and I’m doing well.

Until next time. xoxo