Melting Pot

For Your Amusement

(Also a little bit of a remider/PSA to my fellow arachnaphobes out there.)

It is no secret to anyone who has read this blog a while or who knows me personally that I am absolutely terrified of the eight legged beasts. It is a common fear for many people, yes, but I have a genuine phobia – I’m not merely grossed out by them, I don’t merely find them creepy. I am legitimately terrified of them. I recognize that at times my fear is completely irrational – but I can’t help it. When such a creature makes an appearance, I panic – heart racing, trouble breathing, can’t move or speak panic. Given they are a necessary thing in the world, and they are as such always around and do not understand boundaries or personal space, it’s inevitable that there are times I have no choice but to deal with them by whatever means necessary. I don’t like it, but I don’t always have a choice.

I’ve had enough experiences over the years I’ve developed habits to try to avoid any really unpleasant encounters. Among those habits is checking the shower before I even turn on the water. See, I’m also very nearsighted and once I take my glasses off, I can not see well at all. I don’t always have contacts or want to put them in JUST to shower, so most of my showers leave me in a rather vulnerable state when it comes to being able to see the approach of any creepy crawlies before they are WAY too close for comfort. I prefer to use a loofah (bath pouf, whatever you want to call it) rather than a wash cloth. I also check this before even turning on the water.

Well tonight, the ONE time I neglect to check the loofah…

SMH. You know where this is going already.

I had applied my hair conditioner, then grabbed my trusty loofah and gave it a squish under the water to get it wet all the way through before adding shower gel. But – thankfully before the shower gel had entered the picture – I noticed a dark spot (I told you, without my glasses I can’t see a damned thing unless it’s smack in front of my eyeballs). To verify it was not simply a fuzz or something else totally innocent that had somehow found its way onto my loofah I brought it close enough to my face that I could see it. Fuzz does not have legs. Or move on its own.

In about a tenth of a second the shower curtain was open and the loofah had been flung across the bathroom. I may have squealed a bit, I’m honestly not sure. After shuddering in disgust I grabbed the wash cloth instead (and inspected it carefully and nervously) and scrubbed up with extra hot water. (Another 8 legged beast thing – after I’ve had to deal with one or such, I HAVE to wash thoroughly, and with very hot water… I told you it’s not just a simple fear/dislike, like most folks.) Once I was washed up and out of the shower, I tentativly approached the loofah. Glasses on I could see from a safer distance that the nasty was still there. I rushed off to the kitchen to grab the can of delightful creepy crawly killing chemicals (which J was kind enough to tape paper around to cover the pictures that are on the packaging; I can’t even stand images of the them), went back to thoroughly soak the nasty with it, verified his death, and transferred the loofah to the trash. And then put the spray away and, you guessed it, washed my hands really well with very hot water.

Upon getting into my pajamas and settling in on the couch, I texted J to request a new loofah when he does the grocery shopping, then just sat and shook my head at myself. And then decided other people would probably get some amusement from my experience. And I promise you, it’s TOTALLY fine for you to laugh at me.

If you’re also terrified of the eight legged beasts, take it from me: ALWAYS check the shower before you get in; and make sure the loofah is part of the pre-shower inspection habit. Also, only use light colored loofahs. Makes it easier to spot the nasties if they do happen to decide to make your loofah a hang out than a dark colored loofah.

PS I honestly needed a new loofah anyway as the one that landed in the trash tonight had been in use for quite a while and it was falling apart. They’re not expensive to replace but I still try to make sure I keep using them as long as possible.

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