My youngest nephew possesses far too much power over my heart.
There was another visit to my brother’s recently (again something was needed so we were invited for supper). Silly me I thought that since L and I had such a blast last time he was finally figuring out who I was.
Last time he broke my heart with sniffles and “I miss you” before I left. This time he broke my heart with reverting back to the usual routine of not really wanting me around. My dad likes to ask kids who other people on the room are. He also likes to mess with them by asking different names. Because of this L managed to break my heart twice in one visit. First when he was asked simply who I was and he said “I don’t know” then later when my dad was asking “Is that Aunt [insert various names that are not mine here] and L had no clue what was correct and what wasn’t.
At least M kind of knows me and he wanted me around, so I at least got to have some fun with one of my nephews. I remembered my camera this time too so was able to get some nice pictures of both of them.
My mother made a comment today about seeing me at L’s upcoming birthday party. I haven’t even heard a word about said party so I doubt I am invited. Oh no wait, I will get a pity invite at the last minute, and via my dad rather than a true invitation being extended to me. I told my mother I will be there. But I don’t know for sure if I will be going or not. My emotions have been a bit of a rollercoaster lately, staying more in the downs than enjoying any ups, so I don’t know that I am going to feel up to subjecting myself to several hours of kids and family I don’t really know and who don’t really want me around. Maybe I’ll go but take a book or some knitting with me and just try to find a quiet corner to hide in for as much of the event as possible. I don’t know. I will think about it.