Melting Pot

12-12-12

Life has been quite a roller coaster lately. More downs than ups unfortunately… and yet today I feel good. It’s a beautiful day. The weather is unbelievable, given we are almost half way through December. The sun’s shining, birds are singing… and for reasons I can’t find… I’m feeling optimistic and happy. Not that I am complaining of course but with the way the past few weeks have been, it’s odd to feel good with no real reason for it.

We are still trying to adjust to life without Jenna. I sometimes think I see her in one of her favorite spots. I’ve accidentally called Rascal “Jenna” a couple times. She misses Jenna. But she’s doing well. Dusk misses Jenna a lot more than I initially realized. He has been spending a lot of time sleeping in her favorite spots, and every time he gets a chance to come in my room he heads straight for the little “nest” I had made for her in her where she spent most of her final days. Sydney is the only one who seems oblivious to Jenna’s absence, though I am sure she’s grieving in her own way. She’s always been a loner anyway. No further donations from Jenna’s Gofundme page. We’ve not picked up her ashes yet. We’re just not ready. We will do that soon though. I still need to get my pendant and necklace but I’ll worry about that another time.

My computer has not been cooperating with me much these days. Which I suppose is good in ways – it forces me to find other ways to spend my time rather than oogling makeup and nail polish online and browsing recipes and such etc.

I’ve just about completed my Christmas shopping. I picked up the last of the things for the man today. He’s going to be so happy. I hope anyway. I was not too sure on specifics of what I was getting him, I just got him the best things that I could afford to get for him and hopefully they’re good quality things that will last him a while and that he will enjoy using. No details – he may stop by to read and I don’t want to spoil it.  I’ve got to start getting the homemade gifts all sorted out now so that I can get those ready to go soon. Other than that and maybe a couple more things from the store for a couple folks… I’m ready for Christmas. In terms of gifts at least. I’m not sure I’m ready for it emotionally/mentally just yet. But I still have a little time to get there.

I’ve created some very pretty nail polish colors for Spring. I’ll add them to my Storenvy shop early in the new year. Assuming that the computer is still working then, that is. Or maybe I’ll be lucky and I will have a new computer then. I’ve been entering contests left and right to try to win a new computer, or an ipad. The ideal thing would be winning two contests for computers so my dad could have a new computer too. His computer has been dead for several months.

Anyway. I have much to do. Probably will not do most of it to be totally honest. I have a lot on my mind. I may be happy today and feel uncharacteristically optimistic, but there are still a lot of things on my mind that I need to figure out. Hoping for the best in all aspects.

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2 thoughts on “12-12-12

  1. Hey sunshine… It sounds as though you are beginning to heal – at least, a little bit. Perhaps the optimism you’re experiencing is coming from Jenna; maybe it’s her way of telling you that she’s okay and she’s happy and that it’s okay for you to begin moving forward. I understand that it’s very hard to do, though; our emotional processes are so very different from those of our animal companions’. Dusk and Rascal may take a bit longer to grieve Jenna’s absence, but they, too, will eventually move forward. You all have each other to lean on, and that’s a good thing. *hug*

    Thanks for sharing your insight about Glimmer’s odd behavior. Honestly, I didn’t want to look at what you suggested as being a possible cause, but it does seem rather odd for her to get like that for no apparent reason. We’re just going to monitor her behavior more closely from now on, and we are going to talk to the vet about it, too. If there are any physical signs we should be watching for when Glimmer reacts like that, the vet will let us know.

    Sending you much love and healing energies, sweetness… Always…
    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
    Holly

  2. Well, sweetness, our animal companions do communicate with us in the most unexpected ways. And you and Jenna *were* very close. Maybe she was trying to help you feel better; it’s not out of the realm of possibility. But, I also think maybe some time away would do you good; you’ve had to deal with an awful lot over a very short period of time. Maybe you just need to take some time away – a vacation, if you will – to find your center again. There’s a lot of negativity flying around the universe, right now, and with all you’ve been through, maybe it’s all just starting to get to you. For whatever it’s worth to you, my sweet friend, I am sending you lots of positive energies and love…
    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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