For those who do not know… late last month/early this month I made some big decisions. The effects of most of them will not be seen for a while. But other things, the effects started to pop up almost immediately.
One of my decisions was to give up photography. Oh relax, would you? 😉 I’m not tossing my camera aside forever. I’m only giving up chasing photography as a career. It’s become obvious to me at this point that me making a living off photography just is not going to happen. Not at this stage in my life, at least. I still love it. It’s still a big part of who I am. I’m still going to take pictures. I’m just not updating my portfolio anymore, I’m not trying to get published or sell my work anymore etc. It’s the career aspect I’ve given up… not the camera itself. I know, I know. All the greats had x number of rejects for x number of years before hitting it big, blah blah blah. I’ve heard all that almost as many times as I’ve read rejection letters filled with polite ways to say my work sucks. A rejection letter is better than being ignored, I will say that. But the lack of success is not the entire reason I made the decision to give it up. The main reason, yes. But not the only reason.
With everything that has happened in my life recently, I’ve just been put into a state where I’ve had to take a long, hard look at where I am and where I want to be, and what I’ve got to do to get there. As much as I love photography, it just was not getting me anywhere and was not helping me get to where I want to be. There are far bigger, better dreams I have always held on to tightly and that I wanted more than anything in the world. Those are the dreams I want to… no, NEED to chase right now and make happen. Without saying anything specific, I’ll just say that the most important dreams I need to turn into reality are things that money can’t buy.
So. As far as careers go, I have other things I love besides photography that have the potential to help me make a living. I’ve tried, in limited ways, in the past to make these things work for me. But I never really focused too much on them or put much effort into them. Because I was sure photography was my “it” thing that was going to put a roof over my head and food on the table. I think the technology of digital cameras and the availability of them, paired with the sickening degree to which things can be altered/created in photoshop has killed photography, making it an even more difficult field to get into than it already was… but I’ve gone on that soapbox numerous times already so I’ll stop before going further down that road. So now I’m going to go full-force into something else.
I’m not sharing what my new path is, though. Not just yet. I need some time. I need to do some research. I need to make some lists, and do some shopping. I need to prepare. And then… then I will share what I’m up to. I have already secured my online storefront for this new venture of mine. I’ve got the shop set up and ready to go in terms of the design and colors, my banner/logo etc.
I’m excited. Giddy even. Filled with hope. And also absolutely terrified. This is not a small experiment. This is not something that is going to be easy to undertake. It’s not something I’m going to piddle around with for a couple weeks and give up. I’m serious about this. 100% committed. I want this to be big. I know it will start small. I know it will take a lot of time and hard work. And for a while I’m most likely going to lose money rather than make it. But this is a risk I have to take. I NEED positive changes in my life, and I need them now. I’m taking steps to make it happen.
All I can tell you for now regarding the route I’m taking is this: It feels right. I’m trying to learn to trust God to take me where I’m meant to go without fighting Him about it. There’s a plan for me. I need to stop insisting otherwise and let things happen as they’re meant to. If I fall, I’ll get back up and try again or try something else. But I have to try.