Melting Pot

Doubts? Nope. Not One.

It’s past my bed time as it is and I really must get to bed soon. But I’d meant to make this post earlier in the day and never got a chance, today has zipped by in a blink! And I am going to be too busy the rest of this week to blog again. So, it’s now or never. Ok, not “never” as there would be next week… but… well. Now seems a better time.

Anyway. I usually forget my dreams shortly after waking up, sometimes even before I’ve opened my eyes. The dreams I do remember longer, the finer details fade rather quickly and I remember only vague ideas of what the dream was like. And then there are those that stick with me for a long time, in vivid detail. Those are the dreams that are often significant for one reason or another. A few nights ago, I had a somewhat strange dream. This was one of those vividly remembered dreams. I still remember every little detail even though it’s been several days since I had the dream.

And both in my dream as it happened and after waking up and thinking it over, I know exactly what it meant. The Mister and I have a unique situation with our relationship. It makes things difficult at times. My dream was meant to inflict doubt. I feel not only do our dreams have messages for us, but every once in a while I think that challenges are presented to us through our dreams, and how we react both in our dreams and after waking is crucial. This dream was a challenge… one that I took head on without hesitation.

In my dream: I was hanging out with the Mister. He leaned in to kiss me. After the kiss I opened my eyes and, instead of the Mister, there was another man’s face mere inches from my own. (It was someone I know from my past but specifically who is not of importance.) His eyes were pitch black, and his presence and extreme closeness startled me. He said, referring to the Mister, “Do you really think he’s good enough for you?”  This was not said in a friendly, concerned tone. It was dark. Sinister. A hissing to it. He felt threatening. But I wasn’t afraid of him. I blinked and shook my head in confusion, and when I did so, the dark man was gone and I was once again safely in the company of the Mister, smiling warmly at me. I thought to myself “Of course he’s good enough for me. He’s better than good enough. He’s perfect.” I told the Mister “I love you.” and he said “I love you too.” and we kissed again and after the kiss he held me close and I felt calm and happy and safe.

There were other things to the dream after this, however those bits (while well remembered) were not really significant to the dream or it’s meaning.

I know that this dream was a negative force trying to interfere with my happiness, to instill doubts in me where none belong. I knew it in my dream, and I filled my heart with light, and wrapped myself in the Mister’s love and comfort. And upon waking up I did the same thing. I let our love fill and surround me. And then I headed to the Mister’s place of work and lost myself in his arms for as long as was appropriate for being in a public space & his work. We talked as long as we could, and the whole time I just couldn’t help but smile. My heart was (and is) so full. He told me about a gift he has for me, and my heart just melted. If I were not already in love with this incredible man, this gift would have made me fall. It did make me fall even more in love with him, and I didn’t think it was possible for me to be any more in love than I already was. I wanted so much to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him long and hard… but I had to settle for a simple hug. He is so thoughtful and sweet, and I’m so grateful to have him in my life. This man who makes my heart race just by looking at me, who sends shivers down my spine with a small kiss on my forehead, whose smile makes me want to sing… he is “the one”. There is not a doubt in my mind or my heart. He feels like home. He makes me happier than I have ever been. I know our situation is tricky and difficult, and it is hard at times. But I know this is right.

Some other people feel like we are moving “too slow” if we’re really serious about each other. But what other people think of our relationship doesn’t matter. We’re taking things at our own pace. We may not be happy that we don’t get to see each other as often as we’d like to, but we are happy together. We’re happy with where things are going. It’s what we think and feel that matters.

I don’t know what I did to deserve such an incredible man in my life, but I am so incredibly grateful that he’s in my life and not a day goes by that I do not thank God and the universe for bringing us together.

Not even a tiny trace of doubt exists.

He’s the one.

And I couldn’t be happier.

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One thought on “Doubts? Nope. Not One.

  1. You said it all, and you answered your own doubts, too, when you said, “He feels like home.” As long as you feel that way, my friend, nothing else matters.

    I’m sorry I’ve neglected you lately, sweetie. There’s been a lot going on – this is true – but it’s no excuse for neglecting you, and I’m sorry. You have a lot going on in your life, too; it looks like a lot of changes are taking place in your life, and I know from long experience that the emotional roller-coaster that presents can be tricky to navigate.

    But you’re a strong woman, and I know that whatever comes to you, you can and will deal with. Just remember that the only thing that really matters is love. Love is all there is, and all there should be, no matter what…

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