Everything seems to be staying on a track of discord, this year. There are very few lulls in the confusion, and when they do come along they don’t last long. With so much going on, it’s hard to find any sense of stability let alone maintain it once some small bit can be grasped. As such, it makes keeping the posts on this blog aimed at any one given topic difficult if not impossible. When I started writing here I had hoped to not file much away under the “melting pot” category and yet, especially recently, it’s my most used category! I wish I had more time and focus to write up more useful posts. I wish I could come up with/complete and share some recipes or craft patterns/ideas, or share more on photography, or ANYTHING beyond the general “Hey, this is my life in a nutshell right now” posts I have been making. There simply is not enough time in the day for it, though. Even if there were more time… I’ve been too exhausted from being so busy. There is ALWAYS something that needs to be dealt with, whether it’s cleaning or fixing a mess someone got themselves into or helping someone out, making good on promises etc. It’s beginning to get to me. Ok. “beginning to” is not right… it is well beyond that. I am tense. My muscles ache. I can’t get comfortable no matter how hard I try. I need a break. More than a day. I could use a weekend escape. And a massage would be pretty amazing right now too, to ease the strain in my back and shoulders. You know the saying of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders… I LITERALLY do that. When I’m under pressure, my shoulders/upper back/neck are what tense up. And they are incredibly tense right now.
Of course a weekend away can’t happen, for numerous reasons. First and foremost being I have no money or means to get away. And with the puppy in need of her training, right now really is not the time to leave her. Without me here to train her and make sure she’s learning everything she needs to know about living in this house, there is nobody else to teach her and take care of her. (My dad works long, crazy hours. When he’s not working, he’s either out running necessary errands or he’s catching up on sleep.) So, until she’s been thoroughly trained and fully adjusted to living here, I simply can’t take a weekend off. Maybe that’s good though… maybe it will mean that the Mister and I will have ample time to plan a nice little getaway together. Maybe this summer we can hit the road and go someplace to get away from the bs and pressure together. We wouldn’t have to go far. Maybe just a trip to the beach in Maryland, or the mountains in Virginia… anywhere. We could probably only manage a weekend. Oh but a whole week would be heavenly! Hmmm… I’ll have to ask him about it. If not in summer maybe autumn. An autumn trip to the mountains would be lovely, with the leaves all changing and the spicy notes in the air… yes. Autumn in the mountains for a whole week or at least a weekend. That sounds perfect.